This should be Gabriels first Birthday.

It's hard to beleive that today I should be helping my child blow out a birthday candle. That I should be marking this day with wonder and happiness remembering all the firsts that have come. Instead I speak of a child lost. One who's frist will never come, who's voice I will never hear call for me, say I love, grow up to make me proud. You are with me always Gabriel, I miss you so.

Hiding

I know I've been hiding I've just been hold up in my own world trying to keep myself distracted. You see that's how I deal with so many things. I've found in my life that it's just eaiser to pretend I don't see this, or feel that, or that X dosent exists. It's a practice I've become very good with, it's self preservation. I never know any current events, pop culture is a complete mystery to me, and things I know will upset me I block out or so I try. With all that being said I've been hiding from pregnant women. It's nothing personal I dont hold any annimosity towards those I know, but it's my way. Do I feel bad about it? Yes, I would love nothing more then to regain that blissfull period after Logan was born when I would look at any pregnant woman and think, your in for a great ride, welcome to the mommy club, and so on. But try as I might I can't return to that place, I'm forever changed. I know this too will pass it will just take some time. I'll be back soon I just need a break.

A step towards accecptance.

I just spend the past hour packing up infant stuff. My cousin is due in Nov and has nothing. So I sucked it up and I'm passing on lots of stuff. Admittedly most of what I'm passing on is the stuff my other cousin passed to me. I'm not ready to part with the things I purchased or the things that my Mom and close friends gave me. But still I'm passing on the bassinet, pack and play, excersauser, highchair, all the baby feeding stuff, nearly all the infant toys, and a stroller. Surprisingly enough at the moment I'm Ok with it. Now when I load it all up into the car to go I might fall apart. Sadly I'm realizing that my hope is waining.

So freaking cute.

Mom and Dad brought Logan a Woody doll from disney world. He LOVES it, wanted to nap with it, take him outside etc. He asked to watch Toy Story the movie. If your not familuir with it theres a sceen where Andy is playing with Woody, sliding down the banaster, then launching Woody acorss the room using the foot rest of a reliner. Well can you guess what Logan just did? Yeap you guessed it down the banaster, then tried the recliner launch. So freaking cute, just warms my heart.

Thinking of Grandmom Thelma

This morning I've been sewing Logans Peter Pan halloween costume, while little man watches the Peter Pan movie over and over. It makes me think of the stories of Grandmom taking my father as a little boy to see Peter Pan 9 times! She also was an amazing seamstress. The woman could make anything and did so very very very well. I regret that I didn't not get the chance to learn from her. By the time I was old enough and interested she had stopped sewing due to vision issues. I wish she could have met Logan I know she would have loved him to peices and to see him in a Peter Pan costume would have tickled her pink.

Black gold!

If your a gardener you know what I'm talking about. I emptyed one of the composters this morning. I started siffting the goods thinking I wouldnt get very much boy was I wrong! I filled every large pot I own ans I haven't finished. The timing was perfect I needed dirt badly, I just didnt want to pay for any. Oh and earlier this week I picked my first veggie from the green house of a plant I started from seed. :)


Little man either has a cold or is getting allergied. I hate it when he feels bad. He woke up 2 times last night just calling for me. Once when I went up he litterally rolled over and went back to sleep, the second time he was back asleep before I got there. I had to wake him this morning so we could take Mitch to the airport. Little man didnt fight me but he was in no way happy to get out of bed. I offered him hot chocolate for breakfast (heated carnation instant breakfast) and he pepped right up.

I was thinking about painting Logan's room this week, but I'm not sure if I want to open that can of worms. I've got a bunch of other projects to finish. And I'd really like to get the house clean while Mitch is away. It's so much easier with out him around things actually stay clean for more then 5 mins.

On a side note I sold an old outdoor dog kennel I have. I'm please since I made some cash off it and its one more thing out of the garage. I've also sold some things on Ebay and have a bunch more listed and to list. I'm again looking forward to making some money and getting this stuff out of the house.

Still hasn't set in.

Half the time I still don't belive that I'm a SAHM. It will be late at night and I'm thinking "Oh I should go to bed since it's Monday I have to get up to go to work in the morning" Then it hits me NO I don't...he he he. I still havent gotten into a routine yet as far as when to do the house things. I think I'll try and start that next week once Logan is in school. This week he only went for an hour which was just enough time to unload the dishwasher one day and shower the other. But let me say what a nice shower it was, I wasnt rushed, didnt have to listen for Logan or deal with him tring to get in with me. Ahh the simple pleasures.

Speaking of Logan he's upstairs not napping doing his fake cry. He almost seems to be on an every other day nap schedule. weird huh? I've got a million things to do but just dont want to get off my butt, I've been dealing with a stiff neck/upper shoulders for 5 days now its really starting to annoy me and its sucking the energy and modivation out of me.

ok thats enough babble for today, and sorry spell check isnt working for me today.

A moment for the books.

We had a good day nothing spectacular, playground, grocery store, dinner, play time, etc. As we were settling into our bedtime routine Logan grabbed his Moon light. It's a moon shaped battery powered light the you push on the surface to light up. He has to hold it while we read the bed time books. He grabbed it off the dresser and dropped it hard on the floor. At first look I thought it was totally broken, but nope a piece just popped out of place I pushed it back in and on came the light. Logan gasped in joy looked at the light then me and said "Thank you for fixing it Mommy, I'm so proud of you" It made my day. :)

Weekend report

Let's see what did I do sonce last I posted.

Went to Logan's Parent teacher conference. I guess my ecpectations were to high I thought we would talk about Logan and what he knows go over the 2 page personality profile they asked me to fill out. But it was real short, heres your Sept calander you'll get one every month, here's the when to keep your sick kid at home rules, here's your field trip form and Oh here's your first fund rasier packet. Have a nice day see you next week. We'll see how it all goes.

Saturday Logan and I played out side a lot, and I helped Mitch put together the new trailer. It went surprizingly well, I have to laugh about this as I have explained in the past we dont work well together. The main reason is we both want to be in charge. Well this time I just said I'm the worker your the manager tell me what to do, then he was all "Oh I have toread the directions and figure it out" LMAO Yes sir thats the plan.

Today was my day to sleep in oh wonderfull sleep. I just need Mitch to understand that letting Logan run up and down the stairs yelling, and then "playing" a recorder is not condusive to Mommy being able to sleep. Oh well I didnt drag my butt out of bed till 10:30 so nice. But I woke up with a killer stiff neck thats still hurting me after a hot shower, a short neck massage, getting desperate a muscel relaxer. Hopefully it will losen up tonight, I meeting a Mom at my place in the morning to walk over to the park it's a mile each way.

Tommorow id the park in the morning, then after nap I think we'll head over to Kohl's they are having a BOGO sale on shoes something I really need. Mitch told me that he would like to go watch Monday night footall tommorow. Fine with me go have fun.

Oh I forgot to tell you about the NEW trailer, Mitch was taking it on it's madien voage to Home depot to get wood to build the sides. Wouldnt you know it, he get rear ended while sitting at a stop light! Then the woman is all I didnt hit you hard enough to bend it...bla bla bla. I dont know what the deal is but at least this one wasnt his fault.

Random observations and praises of Logan.

Logan is currently sitting at his train table playing. Then says "Mac it's time to wake up your friends are here" and pulls mac the truck out of a drawer. He then continues on to have a converstation between the variors trucks and cars complete with different voices for each vehicle.

The Sally car from the movie cars, I once said it was my favorate so now when ever he finds Sally she is brought to me along with "Mommy heres your car"

He put his sneakers on all by himself this morning!! When it comes to dressing Logan is NOT the indepedant "I'll do it myself" child he is the "I can't you have to help me" child. I'm super proud he did it alone only with some encouragment and then tons and tons of praise.

I've got a do list a mile long I want to get done today.
Shopping
-Home depot, return some things, get door moulding and door paint.
-Costco, return some things, get my list of things.
-Make about half a dozen calls and appoiments
-Clean the house
-List a ton of stuff on ebay, they have no listing fees this month!
and theres a bunch more little things too.

Door update and update and update

You would think that after 35 years I would know better. Yesterday the plans were made to install the new door today. Dad left me with prep instrcutions, remove the moulding, clear out the vestibule, charge the recip saw. I added to this list get out the saw horese, shop vac, extention cords tool box and then clean up the mess after removing the moulding. I also with Logan in tow went to home depot this morning picked up the new hardware for the door, some insolation and caulk. Now back to the plan, and I shall quote "We'll be there early" well at 10 am Mom called to say Dad was still getting ready. I'll give him this he will have every tool we could possiibly need but come on, at this rate he won't be here till noon. I'll be spent by then and its going to be hot by then. I mean this morning it was cold really perfect weather for working.

Well Dad showed up right after I finished this. As expected unforseen things occured. After we got the orginal door out we determined the threshold was built up way to high and it's on a wierd angle we decided to remove it. No big deal you think well the threshold was made from brick. Thankfully Mitch has happened to borrow the hammer drill. It took a while to remove the brick and then the 3 inches of morter. We got the door temporarly installed and dad went home for the night to cut some wood for the new threshold.

Day 2, A very very long day. I'll quote my Mom... "The job will be done right and perfect, but the not anytime soon" ...LOL she is so right. Dad does everything perfect his construction jobs are of furniture quaility. We must have installed and uninstalled the door 15 times, but the gap is perfectly spaced all around there is a perfect seal the door is plum.

Day 3, no I'm NOT kidding, Dad decided last night that he needs to cut another solid shim to go behid the strike plate to offer better security, and we need an additional peice to go under the threshold. I'm hoping he will just cut these and send them home to me. I also need to get some moulding BUT it turns out that the size I need is smaller then I orginally thought which is great since I before there was 5 and 4 inch moulding. Let me tell you that there is very little to NO selection in those sizes.

Odd how some things hurt.

I've been doing really well lately even when af showed up this month I didn't go into my usual depression. All sorts of reminders that I should have another child have been popping up lately. I haven't been hurt by them. I've even been able to hold babies. But then today reading a thread on homemade Christmas gifts someone mentions a Nov 2006 mommy and I fall apart. November 2006 I should have been made mommy again.

T-4

He he he 4 more days of work 4 more days of work! I have short timers in a major way. I just can't belive that this time next week I'll be saying tommorow is my last day of work for who knows how long. No more getting up before the sun, no more making sure I lay my work clothes out at night, no more commute!!! I have a million things I want to do with Logan, there are playdates and activities on the days I used to work. I can volenture at Logan's school. I have a ton of house projects I want to do too. Oh and I get a week sans husband in a few weeks. Which means I can get the house clean and it will stay that way long enought for me to enjoy it. I guess you can just say I'm excited.

Weekend...

Friday Krista and I took the kids to Sesame place. It was a ball a bit more crowed then I had expected but still fun. Pictures to follow later. I just have to comment on the irony of the rainstorm. We are at a WATER park, everyone is walking around in bathing suits, when the rain started people literally screamed and ran for cover. WTH 5 minutes ago you were in a pool? Darn rain did keep us from getting on the Elmo fish ride that we had been waiting on for 10 mins. Let me tell you a 3 year old does not understand that rain closes rides, and when there are two 3 year olds to react to each other its worse. We went back over to the big sprinkler area after that where we stayed till we left. They loved it, Logan so much that he didnt bother to tell me he needed to poop...ewww..Thats about when we decided to roll on home.


Saturday Ahh I got to sleep in till 11am!!!! Did nothing all afternoon. Then I took Logan over to my parents around 6. We met up with Sean and Angela for dinner. Went back to their place to hang out.

Sunday. Went with Mom and Dad to visit Grand Mom. She was awake and responsive, that is a big deal. Mom fed her lunch we talked at her with and occasional comment back from her. Logan ran around her room like a mad man laughing his head off. Apparently this was awesome medicine. Later that afternoon Grand mom asked to be moved out of bed to her chair. Again this is a big deal, we got the call telling us this while over at my Aunts for the family picnic. Logan and Nathan (cousin age 7) played all day. Little man passed out as soon as we were in the car. It was a nice day I got to talk with nearly everyone in the family.

This week I'm working a lot. My co-worker is on vacation so I have to cover the whole week. The nice thing is I'm dialing in from home on Mon, Thur, Fri. Only going into the office on Tues and Wed. I figure I can get an extra 12 or so hours which is great.

Oh and there are only 5 more office days!!!

How to make a profit!

I listed a little outdoor playset on craigslist and my Mom's board yesterday. It's a great little set that Logan LOVED but is just to big for anymore. Mom got it and another larger set for Logan over 2 years ago for $35. Well I listed the little one for $50 figuring if I didn't get any bites I'd just lower the price. Well no sooner had I posted then the offers started coming in. I got 6 offers yesterday, sold it to the first requester. Shes coming to get it today! It was the easiest $50 I've made in a long time. And to top it off I know the woman I'm selling it to she and her cousin (who I know) are coming over to get it I'm going to ask them if they want to look over the pile of toys I want to sell. Maybe just maybe I'll unload a bunch more stuff.


Preschool, I talked to a very close preschool on Sat, its a Tues/Thurs program for 3 hours. Good sounding program, and not that I need it but they offer after care. for $4 an hour, which could be nice if I decide to get a small part time job. Anyway she said that she was 95% sure that the morning class was full, well she just called and theres one opening left!!! Logan and I are off to check it out in a few mins.

Saturdays "cleaning" adventure...aka how to fill a dumpster.

I was recruited to help my sitter empty her Grandfather in laws house after he moved out. Kandra (sitter) and her dh are buying the house. The men in the family were doing the moving truck part of the adventure leaving us women folk back in MD. All I have to say is OMG how can anyone live that way and have so much trash/junk/crap. I don't think they ever threw anything out. Everything was just piled up pell mell in the basement which was wet! So everything was mildewed and musty. There was a ton of what was once nice baby stuff down there too. I just kills me. We worked from 10-12 took a lunch break then worked till 3:30 I had a B-day party to go to with Logan. We went back over a 7 and worked till 9. Oh and by the way Kandras "best friend" didn't see fit to show up till 8:45. We filled the 20 foot long, 6 foot tall dumpster, used up a 50 pack box of contractors bags and piled at ton of stuff on a trailer. and that was only half the basement!!! The entire time I was down there I'm thinking my MIL's house is going to be soooo much worse than this. Kandra was so happy to have me there to help, thanked me lots, and then I told her when it comes time to clean out my MIL's house she will be the first person I call. I was tired yesterday but came home and did a bunch of stuff around here. I guess I was motivated. I'm so sore today. Currently Logan is upstairs having a "I don't want to nap" fit, followed my a "I want my blanket" fit cause he tossed it on the floor and still (thankfully) wont get out of bed till i open the door. I'm so tore right now I hate to let him cry for me and not go to him but I know at this point its a test to see what he can get away with. He's been fighting me on naps about 50% of the time the past few weeks, Kandra and Mitch have no problems getting him to go down.

I've been thinking more and more about the full time sahm thing. I have to say I'm still a bit nervous about the money thing being as I've never not had an income of my own. But I'm also really excited I'll have so much more time to do things with Logan and actually get some more projects around the house done. One downside is our eating out habit will have to stop, we eat out a lot multiple times a week mostly because we are lazy. I'll realy have to meal plan, I was looking in the freezer last night looks to me like there is 2-3 weeks worth of dinner stuff in there now. Ok now I'm just babbleing and need to get out of ear shot of Logan. Till next time.

The big work decision...

For those of you that don't know yesterday afternoon I was informed that the company needs my position to be full time again..bla bla bla... We are offering you the option to return full time. We would love to have you..bla.. we are very backlogged.. bla. You get the idea, oh and you have until close of business Friday to decide. Gee thanks for the notice, all 24 hours.

After mulling it over, thinking about it hard, and having a very short discussion with Mitch...

Mitch: So have you made a decision?
Angela: I don't want to go back to work full time.
Mitch: What are the monthly bills? Can we afford this?
Angela: Yes, I figured it all up last year. It will be tighter, less eating out etc.
Mitch: Do the math and get me an actual number. I'll support you in what ever decision you make. I just want a hard number so I know .


So I did the math, and after all the bills are paid inculding estimated food and credit card bills we will have money left over for those unexpected things. So 30 mins ago I told work. I will work for the rest of Aug. I do intend on looking for another part time job but I'm not to pressed. Maybe this will be the chance for me to look for a job I really like.

Nothing to report

I haven't felt much like blogging this past week, nothing of interest to report. But I hate it when I check out the blogs I follow and theres been no new post. This past weekend we actually had nothing planned a change for us. Seems like the past few months theres been something to do every weekend. We did go pick up the new front door and casement window that will go on the steps. Now we just need to call Steve our major project guy to have him install them. Initially I wanted a wider front door that was the plan, but then I got to looking at the opening between the vestibule and living room its the same size at the front door. So my theory that a larger front door would make getting things in and out was tossed out the window. After that decision was made Mitch was all "I think I can handle installing the door since its the same size" I politely responded "Hell NO!" Mitch Fancy's himself a good Carpenter/fix it guy. But he's not I wont go into the basement bathroom examples. the bottom line is I want the door put in right with no issues cropping up in the future. Steve is the guy who did much of the kitchen work I couldn't Handel. He does good work and is reasonable in prices. He also made some great suggestions about changing the layout of the kitchen. We are also having the only original window left in the house replaced, its a small window on the landing going up the steps. The thing is ugly, is not at all air tight and generally in bad shape. I ordered a casement window replacement since the window is small a single or double hung wouldn't work very well there. And finally the bathroom window will be replaced too, it was replaced with all the other windows some time before we bought the house, but I think they put the wrong size in. It too is not air tight and theres water between the layers of glass. Once these things are done were getting new siding, gutters, trim etc on the outside. I'm really looking forward to that my house looks like crap from the outside.

This coming weekend Mitch is going with Mark, long time friend, to Kentucky to help move Mark's Grandfather and Mom to a new house. Mark and Kandra are buying the Grandfathers house here in MD. I have been recruited to help clean out all the crap that gets left behind. This will be no small task and I'll have Logan with me so I'm not sure how much help I can be.

Ok well that's enough of a read for you all.

I learned a lesson this week.

Always check the pockets of a toddler before washing clothes. Yeap you guessed it I washed (no problem) then dried (still no problem) a load of dark clothes. Everything was dry except for 2 pairs of Logan shorts. So I tossed them back in the dryer with the next load. A load of MY light work clothes. During the drying of that load the crayons finally melted. So I now have 4 pairs of what were kahki pants, 2 white shirts, and what was my favorte schort all with yellow, orange and purple spots covering them. I tried but there is no saving them. First I'm annoyed at myself for not checking his pockets then I PISSED at Mitch. He SAW Logan put the crayons in his pocket at the resturant the other night and did nothing.

I made the colorfull discovery right as I was about to leave to go to the Harry Potter book release party so I left the mess thinking it would wait till tommorow, amazingly Mitch cleaned the dryer! No small feat too. But it's the least he can do.

Harry potter party.

So I'm annoyed with myself for procrastinating. I'm going to the Book 7 release party tomorrow night with Angela, my best friend. I wanted to get a Harry potter shirt and of course I've waited too long. I know Hot topic has some but from what Angela told me they dint have anything I like. It's not that big of a deal but I wanted a cool one. At the movie there were about a hundred people wearing the marauders map one, which is cool but like I said 100 people had it on. in the end I think I'll just make my own shirt any suggestions?

Mish Mash

First let me say its official Logan is day time potty trained. He's been in underwear for a week with no accidents! We've been out to dinner, play date, shopping and the true test the playground. He's even staying dry for naps and some nights. Though he is waking up around 12:30 AM screaming "Mommy I need to go peepee!" I'm super proud! He also told me the other day as we were putting his underware on "I'm a big boy now, I can go to school" Of course this all happened right after I totally stocked up on diapers. I've got about 3 cases of diapers and 2 cases of pull ups. Oh well, I'll keep them for nights for a while then just sell them.

We really didn't do much this weekend there were for a change no plans, gasp! Logan and I spent a good bit out in the yard in the mornings. I have repotted all the plants Terri's Mom gave to me, started some more seed, cleaned out the garage of all pots and pot racks. Boy do I have a ton more space on my side of the garage. Yes we have sides, otherwise Mitch's stuff would just sprawl. Now mind you the lawn mower, string trimmer, edger, leaf blower and all of Logans toys, 2 tricycles, wagon, battery powered Jeep, etc are on my side too. But I know how to organize, and put things away. Last year I installed a 2 foot deep shelf along the entire back wall and 1/2 up the sides. My shelf's are FULL, Mitch's are empty. But I don't care, I have the side where the door is so I don't have to climb threw his mess. Did I also mention that theres a fridge, sewing machine cabinet, and large dinning room hutch on my side too? I really need to clean that crap out...lol

Monday was play date day. My friend Brooke was hosting she lives 2 miles south of me. I decided that's not to far I'll walk. I got about 1/2 way there and regretted that decision it was sooooo hot and humid yesterday. We had a great time playing and talking. Then we headed home. We stopped at the plant store it was right on the way then I decided that since we were only 2 blocks away we should pop into the grocery. So I ended up adding 15 lbs to the weight of the stroller. By the time it was all said and done I had walked 5ish miles and lost 4 lbs! I know it was all water weight but man who would have thought, oh and I had a hydropack on with 2 liters of water which I drank almost all of.

i hear suits walking about I'll bbl

Green house playtime.

Finally after all the work I got to actually play in the greenhouse! I set up a rack and set out 20 pots! I planted some marigolds to help keep the bugs away, cucumbers, sweet basil, lavender, transplanted the tomatoes Terri's Mom gave me into nice big pots. I've got a bunch more seeds that are old I want to germinate in the house then I'll put them out. It was so much fun! I was planting the basil thinking about Christmas, I can give pesto and fresh basil plants with a basket of tomatoes.

On the hydroponic front I found buried in the back of the garage a long thin pot that will work perfectly. I think I'll set up the first experimental manual hydroponics garden tomorrow.

The cost of a memory

Little tikes wheelbarrow - $10

Shipping from Fl to MD - $21

A friend that made it all possible - Priceless... Thanks Linda

So much for pre-school plan A

I just got back from touring a school right around the corner from work. Things that attracted me to this place was their "open schedule" policy, their web site indicated that you could pick the days you wanted any days. Well Nope its a standard M-W-F or T-Th. So that was strike 1, I was thinking originally that I could just enroll Logan on the days I work. Then Strike 2 and 3 the cost...OMG it's $502 for 2 days! I guess I'm spoiled with cheap daycare. So the search continues. I'm really at a loss here as what to do. Seems all the preschools are M-W-F or T-TH. Which just don't work out at all with my work schedule. Then I got to thinking if I put him in a M-W-F then I lose all the free time I have with him on Mon & Fri. Since he'd get home in time for lunch and nap.

Mommy needs sleep....

I dont know what the deal is but for almost every night this past week Logan has been waking up atleast once. His timming is the worst he seems to start calling for me while I'm in REM sleep. If I get woken out of that I feel terrible out of sorts and kind of drugged feeling. He was up last night at 1 and then 3 and then the dog was doing the I need to pee dance at 5. Needless to say I'm dragging this morning. I just can't figure out exactly what causing him to wake up. I'd fix it if I knew the problem, he keeps asking me to get in bed with him not possible since hes still in a toddler bed. Then he'll request that I take him to my bed. Its strange since hes never slept in my bed. My bed is the play place for jumping. The second time little got up I kicked Mitch out of bed to get him, then of course all I hear is "I want Mommy, I dont want you Daddy" Mitch did get him back to sleep thankfully. I just didnt get any quailty sleep after that, werid dreams and then the dog at 5.

Weekend and other random thoughts.

I'm so looking forward to this weekend, I know boo hoo for me since I only work a few days. But I just need some down time, alone time, actually I need to do some productive things at home so I can distract myself from the unfairness of life. Seems the scales of unfairness have been tipped in the wrong direction for myself and my loved ones lately. I wish I knew how to fix it.

On to the distractions.

My plans for the weekend...
Get gravel for the greenhouse floor. This will be a multi trip process, since the trailer can only carry so much weight. I'm going to try and get a load this evening.

Thursday, if I get the gravel do that until theres no more to unload, pass out from exhaustion and back pain.

Friday, the temps for Friday are calling for high 70's but possible rain. I'm going to offer to take Brook and Patrick back to the zoo. I have some free tokens for the carousal that expire this month I'd like to use them.

Sat, Day time is open and I'm leaving it that way in case Terri wants to get together. I'm supposed to go to a Mom's night out dinner, but to be honest I don't want to go I'll end up cancelling. I think Mitch is going to want to go to the movies anyway.

Sun, its open at this point so I'll either work more on the yard, or maybe hook up with Terri if she's free.

Mon/Tues I have to work, I switched my schedule so my coworker could take those days and have 5 days off. She was all thankful but it works out well for me too, I end up with 6 days off since Wed is a holiday.

Weekend report

Friday I met up with Brook and Michelle and their boys at the mall. There is a nice indoor play area with lots of soft climbing things, tunnels and slides. There are lots of benches for Mom and only one way in and out. So we can let the kids go and relax. We had a nice time with the exception of this one boy who kept jumping on Burwell (pronounced beryl). Burwell is only 1 he would go down the slide and then this kid would jump from the top of the slide right onto him, and his Mom was letting him!! Michelle kept trying to get him away from the slide but that's where he wanted to be, we were very glad when that boy left. Logan as usual made several friends to play with. And he even stopped playing to tell me he needed to go pee pee!! After a while we looped the mall once hit the fountain where Logan made his wish then headed upstairs for lunch. The mall people were handing out plastic play construction hats which were a hit. All in all we had a nice time, I really enjoy Brooke and Michelle's company.

Sat, Spent most of the day in the yard. Trimmed the weeping cherry, pulled out a tom more junk plants, dug up a lot of rocks from the yard. I'm planning on using some of these as a floor for the greenhouse. I weeded the garden, mowed the grass, string trimmed, and then watered the grass seed I planted which surprisingly is starting to grow. I'm pleased about this, I filled in a bunch of dead spots in the yard with some of that good dirt we been getting so I have these black spots threw out the yard. It looks a little strange. This is also not the best time of the year to get grass started I've never had any success this time of year but I guess with me being home more and watching to make sure things are not all dried out is really helping. At the end of the day I'm again sore but it was worth it.

Sunday, Mom and I went to visit my Grand mom. I left Logan at home it was so nice to have a day off. I didn't have to chase him at the nursing home, I actually got to eat my lunch before it was stone cold, didn't hurt my back getting him in and out of the car seat, etc. It was nice.

Onto the Logan conspiracy, hehe. Sat was Mitch's day to sleep in. First know that Logan did have me up twice before midnight. I was very mad at Mitch he was coming to bed and heard Logan went in and talked to him for just a second then left. Logan was not comforted and ended up screaming for me, I was already in bed asleep. So I ended up getting up to hold him for a good 20 mins. But them Sat morning he slept in till 8:30!! On Sunday, Mitch's day to get up with Logan, he woke up at 6:50!! LMAO

Grandmom

Mom and I went to visit Grand Mom yesterday. She's in a nursing home now which in it self is depressing. She has over the past year and a half just gone down hill so fast. We were there for about an hour and half in that time she said one word, never opened her eyes we did get her to eat a little but it was almost an automatic response. I have to accept the fact that she's gone.

She is the last of my living Grand parents. I feel lucky to have known them all and to have had them so long. Both my parents were very late in life children so my grandparents were well into their 70's by the time I got to know them. I only wish they were younger when I was old enough to really appreciate them. There is so much more I could have learned.

Quarter Auction

I attended a quarter auction last night. It works like this, when you arrive you get a pattel with a number on it or several if you pay for them. Then each item if put up for auction it cost 1,2,3 or 4 quarters to bid. They tell you this is a 2 quarter big. You toss 2 quarters in the basket then they pull numbers out of a bin. If your number is pulled you win the item. I did fairly well I won the following items.

A TomBoy tools t-shirt

Tastefully simple Beer bread mix and Tastefully simple soup mix

Pampered Chef Breast cancer awareness rubber spatula, measuring cup and knife

TomBoy tools small plant clippers and transplant shovel.

I defiantly spent less then the value of the products so I did well. The woman I went with cleaned up, she got a tool bag filled with lots of nice tools, a pampered chef pitcher, cups and platter, and some dips. It was a good time and nice to get out with some women. Funny thing was on of the Vendors was pleasure parties I bid on on thing and didn't get it, then every other item from them i did not bid on my number was the first to be called. Had I bid on everything I totally would have cleaned up, I also would have won a very ugly purse a few jewelry items and a baby item. They do this every month its safe to say we'll be going back next month.

Perhaps they are not stars in the sky
but windows into heaven
where the love of out lost ones
pours through and shines down
to let us know they are happy

I'm not sure if thats exactly right. I've found much comfort in this poem. I think it's approprate to share it now.

Tuesday...

Mitch decided that he was going to visit the Cumberland office today, Ok so that's 3ish hours from our house. And he decided that he would get up to go at 4 am! First let me ask this question, Why couldn't you go on a day that I don't have to work? It might seem silly but if I have to drop Logan off at the sitters it means I have to get up early, I have to wake Logan early and the sitter has to be up early (on her first day of summer vacation for her kids). I guess I'm just pissy about it but the man never thinks about how he's imposing on everyone else so he can do what he wants when he wants. Oh and another thing his F-ing alarm clock is loud enough to wake the neighbors, and he cant walk out of the bed room with out stepping on every squeaky spot on the floor. Just no consideration for the fact that I'm a light sleeper.

Now on a nicer note it was great to see my little man this morning. He announced that "Your not going to work" to me this morning, told me he loves me a bunch of times. We only had one little tiff when I told him he can't have the tractor toy until he goes poopy on the potty, as I was packing it into his lucnh bag to go to the sitters. There seems to be a general lack of interest in potty pooping at the sitters so I'm hoping that a little reward might intise him. Though the past 2 days at home didn't go well on the potty. He seems to have the peeign thing down, an occasional accident when he just doesn't get there fast enough but that's usually just a dribble not a puddle. But the poop, man hes been stubborn. Like yesterday he was running about saying "There's something in my butt" I know lmao, but he wouldn't poop. So like 2 hours later we go outside, he tells me I dont want to be outside, then heads for his play structure, which is where he goes when he needs to poop. I was in the garden a whole 20 feet away I asked him "Are you pooping?" "No!" he says as he dives threw the hole in the play thing. Buy the time I got to him he had crapped his pants! uggh!

Nothing much more to report.

Ice cream truck...Oh how I hate you!

Remember in years past the ice cream truck would drive threw the neighborhood just ringing bells. Just a few rings and we all came running. Well there is a truck that circles threw my neighborhood for what seems like hours, I meal literally I can hear him for ever. And instead of the nice ringing bells of my childhood he plays very very loudly this very obnoxious repeating song. A song I cant get out of my freaking head! To add to the fun Logan has learned, from where I don't know, what the song means. I just really wish he didn't play that same annoying song over and over.

My new hobbie hideout!!

You've all read all about it's assembly. Suggested your favorate plants to grow. Well here it is in all it's empty glory. Now the fun of filling it begins.

Thomas train recall for lead paint.

This makes me so mad. I work so hard at keeping Logan safe from Lead then some company uses it in paint for kids toys! And of course we have 2 of these things.

http://recalls.rc2.com/recalls_Wood_0607.html

More Greenhouse

I told you so! I told you so ! I told you so!!!
After laying on a sucessful guilt trip, which is no small feat, Mitch joined me to try and finish the greenhouse. We last left it with the base and sides square but the roof was having issues. Now I had pointed out several times that one of the back corners was not level. It was several inches lower then the rest of the corners. I beleived that this was the root cause of the problems, Mitch totally disagreed. I stood my ground and insisted that we not push/pull on the roof to try and square it out but level out the base. Amazingly as soon as we leveled the corner all the windows fell nicely into place. After that we tightened everything up, put the doors on, I put in the rest of the glass that I could reach from the ground. All I have left to do is put in the roof glass a few peices in the back up high and fill dirt in around the foundation. Then the fun starts planting!!! The greenhouse itself came in a box with a big metal frame rack around it, so that will be moved in as a bench. I have 2 other things inthe garage from years past to put plants on. I'm so excited! I think one of the first things I'll plant is some rosemary plants I'd like to grow soem of those and shape them in to toparys for some christmas presents. And I'd like to get some more tomatoes going. What would you plant?

Greenhouse adventure or misadventure

My Christmas present from Mitch was a greenhouse, comes as a kit you have to put it up. Well my husband is the king of procrastination so 6 months later I finally nag, pester, kick in the ass enough times that it’s going to be put up. Sat morning he drags the 400 lbs box from the garage to the yard, and heads of to the dump. I start unpacking the box. There are A LOT of pieces. Noon comes and the guys show up, Mark and Sean, Mitch was already back from the dump. Assembly begins. Side note to Mitch and I doing any projects together, we DON’T work well together. It comes down to both of us wanting to be in charge, both of us thinking we know the best way to do said job and both of us having different ideas on how to get the job done. It leads to lots of un-pleasantries. Knowing this and knowing that he’s doing something for me and that 2 of his friends are there I decided early on to be a set of hands that follow others direction for the day.

That being said the day went like this…. According to the directions it should take 4 people 8 hours to assemble this greenhouse.

Step one, assemble pieces 5 to 6 and 10 to 11, making the foundation frame. CHECK THAT FRAME IS LEVEL AND SQUARE. I pointed out this direction, some additional leveling was done, but with lots of grumbling. I don’t think they checked the foundation for square.

Steps 2… attach pieces 1-20 to the foundation using #65 SHORT bolts
Steps 3-5 attach this and that to this and that. At this point many many hours latter we have walls. CHECK FOR SQUARE. (done and corrected, they think)
Step 6, Go back to pieces 1-20 unbolt the blots and add clip #50!!! WTF!! Why the heck didn’t they tell us to put the clips in at step 2?!! CHECK FOR SQUARE (not done) and I quote “These support pieces will pull it square”
Then we discovered that the short bolts were too short in many places, we were undoing things several times. All in all the direction were really poorly written. By 9:30 we have all the framing done. We pack it in for the night.

Sunday, I start putting the glass in, ok it’s not glass its insolated plastic sheets with air pockets. I get all the sides on, and start on the roof. There are 4 windows in the roof, I go to put the first window in and guess what? It doesn’t even come close to closing. Wonder why?? The building is NOT SQUARE!!! For those of you that don’t know you determine if something it square by measuring across from corner to corner the 2 measurements should be the same. When I finally convinced Mitch that the building is not square and we should measure it they numbers cam out like this, 177 to 185!!! He has yet to admit that he was wrong when I said we need to check for square during constriction. I can file this one away for the next time we’re doing something and I think it should be done differently.

Monday, I did out lots of the dirt we filled in around the greenhouse foundation. Unload the trailer full of dirt and spread it threw the yard. Refill the trailer with more yard waste, mostly wild rose and briers can we say ouch. Mitch got home really early due to a Drs appt. I had promised Logan that we would go get his hair cut after nap. He woke up yelling “Mommy I need a haircut” So we all piled into the truck went to Harbor freight to look at some stuff, stopped at the fish store for Logan, went to the mall got Logan’s haircut, the boys had an orange Julius and cookie, I was bad and had a blizzard sooo good. Then we headed over to Lowes ordered the new front door and casement window, picked up a new microwave. Went home put little man to bed, then worked on squaring up the greenhouse. I had to insist that we measure the inside lengths. Mitch was sitting there with a square putting it on the corner. I was telling him that’s only confirming the corner not the whole building. Finally after a while we got it right. I went to put the windows back in, one side of the roof they are perfect the other their not! UGGHHH. So tonight we’ll work on it again.

Game night.

I've invited all the girls from my local board over this evening for game night. It was really short notice so only 3 are coming. That's ok they happen to be some of the older moms that I enjoy the most. Of course I feel asleep on the sofa last night after putting Logan to bed, i was going to tidy up the house, clean the bathroom and run the Vac but oh well. I guess I'll just be doing a super fast cleaning session when I get home. Luckily the house isn't to messy just lots of toys that need to be put up, and like I said the floors could stand a vac and the bathroom a touch up. Ever since Mitch stopped used the upstairs bathroom I've found it so much easier to keep clean.

Tomorrow morning I'm walking with Brooke in the morning then at 10 we have our passport appts. I've got to mow the grass it's gotten to tall it looks terrible. Would have loved to have done it last night but yet again Mitch didn't get home till late and messed up my plans. Though Logan and I went for a long walk, stopped at a new playground. He had such a good time. There was a break in the bridges with these stool like things to jump across. Well they are a bit to far apart for him so I had to help. Initially I was doing all the work he was just letting me pick him up to go across but by the time we leave he was bunny hopping across them all I was doing was helping to direct him and keep his balance. He threw a minor fit when we left saying he didn't want to go home. I think all said and done I put in somewhere between 2-3 miles with lots of that being up hill.

Weight loss report

Today was the first offical weigh in on the same scale. First let me point out that my scale at home is weighing 6 lbs heavy!! So instead of my first goal being 20 lbs away its only 14! and I've already dropped 4 lbs!! Currently I'm in the lead on the challange, and I'm not the heaviest of the 3, which I totally thought I was.

Back to the grid with random thoughts

Let me just say I love staying home with Logan it's been wonderful to have all this time with him. We have done so much in the past 10 months with all the extra time. When I first started the part time thing I kept saying its the best of both worlds I get lots of time with Logan and I still get some adult time, get to keep my resume fresh, my career going, bla bla bla. Well now with the exception of the money I make I'm ready to be done with working. I want all the time home with Logan. I hate leaving him on the days I work I find my mind wondering to him, we could be doing this right now or that. Is the sitter keeping up on the potty training, is he just sitting in front of the TV all day with her, etc. Mitch has been telling me that Logan's fighting him in the morning, "I don't want to get up, Mommy's not a work shes downstairs" "I don't want to go to Kandra's" So I know Logan's loving being home with me too. I don't really like my job, I don't hate it or anything it just doesn't excite me. It's just a job a paycheck. I guess I'm just babbling a bit.


Passports, we have been talking about getting them forever. Well out old roommate who is stationed in England just told us that he's going to have a big wedding ceremony and reception this fall. He's inviting anyone that wants to come. We're no sure if were going or not but the first step in the process is to get passports. We have an appt on Friday to submit all the paperwork, we might have them back in time to goto England in Sept. I'm kicking myself for letting mine expire would have been lots easier.

Greenhouse, my christmas present thats been in a box a very large box in the garage since Dec. I've been pushing Mitch to get it up, I just can't do it alone it's a multi person job. Not to mention that the box weights about 400 lbs, so theres no way I can even move it out to the yard to get started. Anyway theres been this and that excuse for a while, we did do the digging for the foundation. Well Mitch called Mark to ask for some help and Mark said Ok this Saturday we'll do it. When mark says hes going to do something he does no questions asked it will get done. So if all goes well by late Saturday afternoon I'll have my greenhouse up!! I've got all these great plans on what I want to grow. For the first time in a long time I actually have a really good idea for a christmas present for my Dad, Fresh vine ripppen Maryland tomatoes! It might sound silly but that would rank up there as one of the best gifts ever. I'm looking forward to extending the growing season for myself as well. And next year I wont need to buy and plants for the veggie garden, all start everything from seed. And finally one big thing I'm excited about is being able to hybridize some plants myself. I've always wanted to do this but didnt have the facility now I do. The big question is what do I do it with?

Potty training report.

I don't want to jinx it but I'm just so happy. Logan has been dry for 2 days! In underwear no accidents. Sat he even pooped on the potty with no help from me, I was putting laundry away when I hear he say "Mommy I poo pooed" I'm thinking great, in his underwear. Then he calls again "Mommy I poo pooed on the potty" there he was on the potty, he went in by himself. I was am proud.

Weight Loss challange

Two of my co-workers and I have decided that we all need to lose weight so we have taken on a bet, who ever losses the most weight in 8 weights wins. We are each putting in $20. There will be a weight in at 1, 4, 6, and 8 weeks. We started last Thursday, I have been very good about only eating a meals, small portions no snacking drinking lots of water. And I've been busting my ass in the yard all week. It looks like I'm off to a good start I'm down 4 lbs already!!!I keep thinking my scale is broken lol.

Report for the week.

To contiue Saturdays report. The greenhouse foundation went really well. We actually worked well together with no fights. Staked and ran strings, then started digging. It turns out we dont need to dig very much, we do how ever need to get some dirt to raise part of the yard. So thats the plan for next weekend. The MIL came over for dinner, we had a nice time then she stayed with Logan while we went to see the new Pirets movie. It was pretty good they tied up the open stories, but left it open for a 4th.


The rest of the weekend and week are a bit of a blur. I spent some more time in the yard doing this and that, planted some more veggies, put up a rabbit fence to keep them out. Planted some flower and herb seeds. Cleaned the house and did some other chores. The work week went fast. 2 of my co-workers and I have placed a bet. We all need a kick in the butt to lose some weight, so we are betting to see who can lose the most weight by Aug 1. We are all competive so hopefully that will keep us modivated long enough to get started.

Tommorow, my sil and neice are coming over for lunch were going to try out a new indian restruant just around the corner. I love indian food but Mitch wont try it. He seems to think that everything thats indian has curry in it which he dislikes. Whatever his loss. After lunch Sage is coming back to my place to hang out till Mom comes over. Then we're taking Logan to Build-A-Bear. This is at Sage's request. It's going to be interesting to see what animal he picks out. I want him to get the turtle, Mom wants the monkey, Sage a penguin. He'll probobley end up picking something else.

Friday Logan and I are taking our friends Patrick and Brooke to the zoo.

Productive weekend.

I had requested that we make a run to the dump this weekend. Low and behold Mitch listened, after little man went to be friday we cut down several small trash trees I've been wanting to remove. Loaded the trailer with all the tree trimings and stuff. Sat morning we headed to the dump dropped of the stuff and loaded the trailer with mulch I busted ass and spread the entire load while Mitch ran to the home depot. He came home was all "wow your almost done" haha i responded with "I busted ass casue I want you to go get another load" LMAO. So he did!! While he was out Imoved the sand box across the yard to under the trees, planted some flowers, planted some sunflower seeds, dug up some weeds and an old yucca generally just lots of yard work. And filled Logans little pool to warm up. We spread the 2nd load as soon as mitch got home. Of course 2 huge loads was not quite enough, I think next weekend well get one more load. I mean really it's free you just have to pick it up and over all its really good mulch there were a few peices of plastic bags in the mix easy enough to pick out. They also some fantastic looking black dirt which I think I'll get a load of.

Once Logan goes down for his nap were going out to start work on the greenhouse!! I'm so excited, we have to dig a 10x12 by 5 inch deep foundation. Something I am not looking forward to doing, were going to use the tiller to lossen up the dirt hopefully it won't be to bad. The foundation needs to be level which I think going to be a pain, the spot where its going has a mild slope.

Time to make lunch, I'll report in later on the progress.

Internet police.

Looks like my freedom on the internet at work might be coming to a stop. Here's the email they sent out yesterday.

Dave’s team is currently testing new tools to monitor and block access to certain websites, just within the IT Department.

Please let him or I know if you are getting blocked for a site which is needed for business purposes.

We will be evaluating the tools for a rollout company wide at a later date.

I'm trying to keep my activity to a min for the next few weeks maybe they wont catch our sites. So if Im mia you'll all know why. I'm still logged on to MSN messager so ping my there and feel free to sent me emails.

A positive side of dementia

My mind today keeps taking me to memories of my Grand Father Truman. This man never stopped amazing me from my earliest memory to my last. For the last 10 years or so of his life his memory was under constant attack from dementia. Having known him before he started losing memories was wondrous, he had a memory that was so detailed. I guess that’s what made it all the worse to watch him lose it. Once he came to grips with the fact that his memory was being striped from him in true Truman fashion he looked for ways to over come it. For many years he always had a small note book in his breast pocket, he would take notes on important things. After explaining to him something about 3 times we would prompt him to “Check your notebook” . Now anyone who has spent time with someone suffering from dementia knows it can be very tiring to re-explain or re-tell something over and over. There is an exception to that.

The first time I took Logan up to visit my Grandparents we arrived showed off the baby, and I told my Grand father that I had named Logan Truman after him. The grin from ear to ear, he was so honored so proud. A little while later after things calmed down, Granddad looked down at Logan and asks “Who’s the baby” I explain to him that he’s my son, only 3 weeks old and that I named him after you. Again the genuine wonderful expression of joy and honor. We went threw this a good 6 or so times. There aren’t many wondrous moments like that you get to experience in life, and to get to do it over so many times in a single day was a wonderful. Not once that day did I say “Check your notebook”

Weekend report.

We cancelled out plans to go on the SnT hand gliding trip. The weather was calling for rain, that never came. I was happy we didn't go, there is just to much for ME to do to prep for these trips. And I didn't want to leave little man for the entire weekend. We had already made plans for my parents to keep Logan all weekend so I took him over to spend Friday night. Now did we take advantage of this nope, we did nothing I didn't even get to sleep in on Sat since Mom and I decided we should go visit Grand mom. Visiting her is getting harder every time, shes going downhill fast she was moved into full time nursing care about 2 months ago. She just seems to be losing more of her body and mind everyday. Ever since She and Granddad Moved out of their home 2 years ago at the age of 92 and 94, shes started slipping downward. Then after Granddad died it was like some one flipped a switch on her mind. I think their being in their own home kept them going. Mind you there was a full time care worker and my Aunt there everyday. Anyway sad stuff its depressing to see someone just being alive with no quality of life. Grand Mom has even confided in her Minster that "I'm ready to go home" as in heaven. I'll be very sad when I finally do lose her especially since shes the last of my grandparents but I know she'll finally be a peace. Oh get this she and Granddad made it to a few months past their 76th wedding anniversary!! How's that for a Strong marriage! I took this photo of them a a few years ago, and just love it.



Now on to less somber topics.
Sat night I headed over to my SIL's for a scrapbook session. I was so On that night, I got 5 pages done! A double page from Logan's birthday, a playground page and a double set from Port Discovery. There were a bunch of people there friends of my brothers, they were passing around photos of the Thomas cake, some one compared it to an Ace of Cakes cake. That was a huge compliment I just beamed.

Sunday we had a 4 pm joint Birthday party for Hailey and Logan. Mostly it was the usual playgroup people. About half the people that RSVP'ed cancelled at the last minute. This seems to be the annoying norm. Really don't RSVP if your going to cancel. Anyway before we left I had a talk with Logan about not hitting Hailey or being mean. If you hit Hailey even once we are going to leave. We had to leave the last play date for the same reason. Well something must have clicked because he was an angel all day. They played so well together there were NO tears at all. I only had to put him in time out once because he ran from me toward the street. I don't know if it was the talk or that we were outside or if the planets just aligned right not that it matters I'll take it. So nice to have a good play date.

There is a park play date scheduled for Friday, I suggested that we go to Park A, which is shaded, NEVER crowded, and generally just nice. But NO they decide to go to Park B, which has no shade there are always like 50 kids there, lots of big kids too. And generally just not as nice a park A. It was all we'll we know where park B is, and we always go there. Uggh, I guess I'll just have to schedule playgroups at other places. I like to check out different places there are a ton of parks in the area lets check some different ones out. OK vent over and back to work, boo hiss 3 days this week.

First Movie theater trip.

I decided this morning to bail on the play date we were going to. It was at the home of the little girl Logan seems to have all the aggression toward. I was just not in the mood to deal with that. Instead we went to see Shrek the third. The movie itself was OK not as good as the others. Over all little man was good, there must have been 20 mins or commercials (BS if you ask me, I didn’t pay to see this crap) and previews. Then part way threw the previews something happen to the film, it took 10 mins to fix it. Not a good plan when you have a theater full of young childern. Finally once the movie started I let Logan open his candy which kept him very happy till it was gone. Then he got fidgety, wanted to try out some other seats and see how far away I'd let him get from me. He sat for a while then quite loudly announced "I have to go pee pee" This is good and bad, obvious reasons for good, bad because for some reason he loves to check out bathrooms. Once he's gone once he wants to go back again and again. We headed to the potty he did actually pee, but just as I suspected as soon as we were back at our seats, "I need to go pee pee" after the first trip he really wasn’t all that into the movie, I fed him some goldfish and gummy snacks. Overall I'd say it went well. As we were leaving or rather as I was chasing him as he ran from the theater he did a 180 ran back in "I want to watch Shrek again" To darn cute.

Blood taken.

Little man got orders from the Dr to have some blood work done, a lead test and a cbc. It was heartbreaking, I had to hold in my lap and then hold his arms. That was bad enough, but then the freaking tech couldn't find the vein so she started digging. He was doing OK up till then, OMG the scream he let out. He was trying to turn around to hide in my arms, crying and screaming "It hurts, stop!" He cried/whimpered all the way to the car, then all the way home. He keeps saying that lady hurt me, its really hurts mommy. I know we needed the test done but I feel so bad for him.

On a more positive note we got his 3 year photos done, there were so many good shots. Once I get them scanned and get the on line code I'll post them.

Bla...

I feel bla today well actually for the past 2 days. I know a major part of it is the down after a big event, as in Logan's birthday and party. It happens after every big thing in my life, the long build up to the event then wham it's all over and theres a void. So much of my time the past few weeks went to getting things ready I don't know what to do with myself. Yes it's silly or stupid but that's just how it is. I'm typing this as I sit at my desk at work. Doing a job I don't really like, beating myself up over that too. I worked so hard, and spent a lot of money on college to get this job. I've come to the realization that programming is just not my thing, I struggle with it consentally. The little programs I did at the last job were fun but not huge and complicated that's what made me think I would like it. What do I want to do? That's the million dollar question. I really don't know. I could teach, I'm a good teacher BUT it's been so long since I did any science the kids would know more than me, and the idea of me going back to school for education classes does not appeal to me. I envy people that know what they want to be when they grow up, are they pushed by parents? Or do they just know? I've toiled over these questions for what feels like forever. I have periods of peace when I'm content or complacent, followed by periods of questioning and doubt. I guess at the end of the day what I want is just to be happy there always seems to be some obstacle in my path toward happiness some created by me some not. Maybe I should become a bulldozer driver so I can just mow them down.

3rd Birthday party.

I didnt take many photos, Mom took over the camera duties and didnt get the shots I would have picked but oh well. Hopefully some other cameras will yeild some more good shots, Terri did you get some good ones?

We'll start with the box train, it was a huge hit. Logan even asked me today to pull it out for play time.



The favor hats and whistels








And finally the cake. I'm so proud :)

Azalea Gardens

My parents and I have a long tradition of visiting the Azalea Gardens each spring. Some week night before mothers day when they are peaking. Pack a picnic dinner and off we go. This place is amazing, its huge there must be thousands of plants. A picture is worth 1000 words..

There is a nice playground there by the picinc tables. Look at the differece in Logan from last year! My has he grown.




On to the garden

Last of the party prep.

Even with taking yesterday off I still have a million things to do. My plan was to bake the cake yesterday and then decorate it today. I followed the recipe in the decoration book. OMG its terrible, awful, the worst cake I've ever tasted. I'm so glad I left some wiggle room time, and that I tasted it. Of course I used the last of the eggs so I need to run to the store.

I got the Big box train constructed yesterday, I was going to paint it till I realized the can of spray paint I have was white, so add spray paint to the list of things to get.

I did get the show box serving train done with some "help" from Logan.The party platters are ordered Mom's going to pick them up tomorrow morning. All the salads are made, goodie bags are assembled.

So the ever famous list...
Hit the store, eggs, milk, soda, spray paint.
Burn Stef's b-day photos and port discovery to CD for Terri.
Paint big box train.
Bake cake, then decorate.
Clean the house.
Wrap gifts.
Mow the grass.
Then just set up in the morning.

Let's dish again

The cost is $205 for 12 dinners they say each dinner serves 6 (I split all mine into 3 portion serving). Most of the places have coupons out there you just need to look for them.

Other places of the same nature

http://www.deeelish.com/
http://www.dinnerzen.com/
https://mygirlfriendskitchen.com/

theres a ton of places out there just google Meal assembly.

Let's Dish

I finally went to Let's dish. In just about 3 hours, including travel time, I made 26 dinners. The person who invented this place is brilliant. Basically it's an food assembly place. Step up to a station everything you need for the recipes is there, pre cut veggies and meat, you just put it together customizing to your tastes. They deal with all the clean up, you don't have to go searching for that missing spice or ingredient. Everything I made just needs to be heated, most of the things I choose take about 30 mins to cook.
Here's what I made. I spilt each meal since it serves 6, I figure we can have dinner and then some left over for my lunch the next day.

2 dinners - Cheesy Chipotle Chicken Enchiladas
2 dinners - Chicken Marinara
2 dinners - Chile-Lime Grilled Chicken with Black Bean Salsa
4 dinners - Lemon Chicken with Asparagus and Rice
2 dinners - Tandoori-Style Grilled Chicken with Spiced Cous Cous
2 dinners - Smoky-Sweet Flank Steak
4 dinners - Seasoned Pork Chops with Sweet Cooked Corn
2 dinners - Fresh Tomato, Herb and Cheese Tart
12 individual - Design-Your-Own Calzones

I took a large rolling cooler with me, filled it and had another bag, its a ton of food! As longs as I'm happy with the tastes I think I'll be doing this again.

Back to the grind.

The fun is over, well at least my long weekend. I'm tired today I didn't sleep well. I was hot then cold, had crazy dreams all night long and was up with Logan at least once maybe twice its a blur. His allergies are just terrible I know hes not feeling well last night he was very temperamental melted down at bed time hard core. "I don't like (fill in the blank)" and "It's to late for (fill in the blank)" back and forth. When I took him in to the bathroom to pee before bed the scream that emanated from him, you would have thought I'd just ripped his arm off. Poor little guy I hate not being able to make him feel better. Hopefully soon all the oaks in the area will be done their thing so the pollen count will drop. Then maybe he'll feel better, I know oaks are the worse for Mitch especially since there are so many in our neighborhood.

I have such a busy week.
Tuesday - work, at lunch go to costco order party platters, then at 7:45 I'm going to Let's dish. I figure in 2 hours I can make up enough meals for a month. Even though it seems kind of pricey we eat out way to much by doing this theres no excuse to eat out so in the end we'll save money.

Wed - Work, go birthday shopping with Mitch, work on Box train. We started on the engine last night, it's going to be soooo cool. I'm really excited about it.

Thursday - Work, meet Mom and Dad to go to the Azalea gardens. Work on Box train.

Friday - Finish Box train, make and decorate cake, quick clean of the house. Go to the spring fling/fair at the school I'm thinking of sending Logan to.

Sun - Mothers day which most likely means a trip to see grand mom with my mom.

Monday - Nothing Nothing and then Nothing!
Sat - Logan's Birthday

Now that I look at this I'm starting to freak, how am I going to get everything done for the party? I have little free time to do stuff, maybe I'll skip work on Thursday send Logan to the sitter anyway. That's a plan, cause I also forgot to add mow the grass since its growing so fast. If I send him off to Kandra I could mow the grass, finish the train since I want to paint it that will take some time. and finish up all the other little things that crop up. Yeah I think that's the plan. Sorry about the disjoined flow of thoughts today.

Woo Hoo modivation rocks!

It’s Done!! Well I still need the moulding for the window but I need Dad to make that for me, and I need to pick up a new threshold strip the old one is to tall with the new flooring. I can hardly move today my back is hurting me bad, way to much bending over while laying the floor. I managed to get everything on my list done last week. Even with taking a day off for the zoo. My list for this week is a bit shorter and lots more fun 

Make train boxes
Make train signs
Make salads for party
Make Birthday Party
Shop for Birthday gifts and wrap

All work and no play makes Angela a ....

After busting my butt all week I decided Logan and I needed a day off. Logan was asking earlier this week for the zoo, so off we went. It was crazy busy seems friday is the big feild trip day. Being a member has its advantages, I know all the back routes to things. We were able to miss most of the croud, we ate lunch in the shade under a big tree and rode the tram (or train as Logan calls it) back to the car. I let him walk again so he took a good long nap this afternoon. I managed to get almost everything on my list done while he slept. I made the pattern for the new vinyl floor, laying the floor and baseboard is all I have left. I've got a party tommorow, the floor will have to wait till Sunday. I'm determined to have it done this weekend.

My windshield got broken yesterday thankfully there are a ton of Mobile replacement services in the area. The replacement people will be here today after 1. I was going to run some err ans this morning but I'm not comfortable driving around lots with a damaged windshield. So I think I'll focus on the house after I finish goofing off on here. I Did get the window sill home, cut, painted and installed on the porch. I also washed the screens put them back up and cleaned almost everything off the porch. I thought I have a huge roll of craft paper to use to make the floor template by alas its only 15 feet long.

So here are today's goals.
DONE - Take out the trash, get the junk from the basement.
Clean the bathroom
DONE - Vac the house, and then dust
Change my sheets and do laundry
DONE - Clean the kitchen
DONE - Mop the kitchen and dinning room floors
Put together box's for the big train.
Skimcoat the porch floor.
If I can get more craft paper make the floor template

Ok I think that enough.

Slacker

Time and motivation were stolen from me yesterday. I had all these great intentions, seems everyone else had other ideas. First I get home and Mitch is there great I think he can take Logan. Foolish me, he announced that he was going to wash he car. Fine I said take Logan with you, I mean wash it out front not at the car wash. Again I said fine take Logan with you. Off they went, I headed out to the porch I wanted to get it cleaned off so I can get to work on the floor. Well, about 30 mins later Logan is in the back yard not being watched at all by Mitch. I figure Logan told Daddy that I was on the porch and Mitch passed the buck to me. Now in that 30 mins Logan managed to coat himself with dirt, literally head to toe. After about an hour total in the yard he announced "I'm Hungary". So I had to stop what I was doing to bathe him then make dinner. All the while Mitch is still washing his car. After he went down for the night I wasted some time going threw coupons then headed to Home depot to get the floor crack filler. Enter round 2 of stolen time. I wanted to pick up a window scrapper, little tool that holds a razor blade. Well I wanted a nice one with a retractable blade, they are very use full tools so I thought I'd invest in a decent one. What a mistake I couldn't find it, then asked for help them man told me where they were I said No there are none there. He said Ok we must need to restock the shelf just ask one of the paint guys to get one down for you. I waited 5 mins to get some help, then they couldn't find the darn things. So I left, just in time to see the next store I needed to stop at close. Uggh So with all that being said heres the plan for tonight.

After I pick up Logan, stop at Joanne's to get the table cloth material (thanks Terri I forgot they have it) Stop at harbor freight to get the window scrapper, wish me luck. If Mitch isn't home when I get there feed Logan real quick, be a bad Mommy and plop him in front of a movie till Mitch gets home. Inform Mitch that he has Logan duty tonight! Then head out to the porch, I'll have the last of the moulding tonight so finish cutting that, put the saw away, move the table, and skimcoat the floor. Then paint the last of the moulding first and 2nd coat. If I can get enough craft paper I'll make the template for the floor. If the paint is dry soon enough I'll attach the window sill moulding. If I can actually get all this done I'll be golden. All that will leave is actually cutting the vinyl and laying it. Then attacting the baseboard moulding and a few pieces of trim all of which are already cut and painted. Rinsing off the screens and replacing them. I could actually have the porch minus the shelving unit done tomorrow. I guess I should add stop and pick up some high caffeine drinks on the way home too. :)

Super Productive

Yesterday was such a good day I got so much done.
We headed out early yesterday to run some errands.
Stopped by CVS to pick up a bunch of things, every item I wanted they were sold out of. This is like the 3rd time its happened I'm not bothering to go back to that store.
Went to target, got some plant labels, and a few other things I can't remember. Picked out a table and chairs for the backyard. I like them with the exception on the color of the cushions, they are a rusty orange. But in the broader scope of things I can deal with the color if I really want the set.
Bed Bath and beyond, to look for vinyl tablecloths I would rather invest in a few that I can reuse instead of the disposable ones. But I'm having a hard time finding any.
Party city, picked up some Thomas napkins, and picked out the balloons for Logan’s party.
BJ's To price party platters, picked up dog food and paper towels and got some stickers for the goodie bags, they have cheap stickers.
Costco To price party platters, and plants. Picked up a rolling box thing to put all my scrap booking stuff in. If I can keep it all accessible I'm more likely to work on it. Got another 3 pack of fire detectors. There have been to many fires in homes lately my paranoia has gone up. Logan and I had lunch at Costco. They have this cheap deal a hotdog and fountain soda for $1.50. They are really big dogs too I couldn’t finish mine, but Logan ate all his!! Then spilled his soda, thankfully I only filled the cup about 1/2. Funny thing is he knocked it over it rolled off the table, hit the seat hit the floor and then popped open. Oh well. He was telling everyone "I spilled my drink" So cute. I was a mad woman while he napped. Here’s the goals updated.


Finish the porch.
o Get, install, and paint the window sill. Taking home today
o Put a 2nd coat of blue up. Done
o Install the floor. Prep the sub-floor lay and the vinyl
o Paint and install the baseboard moulding Painted
o Paint and install the ¼ round Painted
o Paint and install the wainscot cap Painted
o Paint and install the shoe Moulding Painted
o Put the new window cranks on Done
o Put the new screen door hardware on I have an odd size cant find a replacement.



Once he got up from his nap we headed outside. I planted the window boxes, weeded all the flower beds (there are lots, freaking maple tree babies) and started hoeing the veggie garden when my wonderful neighbor come over to offer his rototiller!! I'll get that from him sometime this week. So if I keep up at this pace I'll have it all done. I might be face down in the grass from exhaustion but hey my stuff will be done.

My brain? Where was it.

What was I thinking? At the last Mom’s night out we were discussing the need to have another pot luck lunch. This is as it sounds everyone that comes brings a dish, and it’s a family event, husbands and kids. So I foolishly thought oh no biggie not that many people came to the last one I’ll host this one. At current count we have 9 families defiantly coming and 2 maybes! And this is the weekend before Logan’s big birthday party. I have so much to do for his party and now I’ve got like 30 people coming the weekend before. Good thing this is only a 2 day work week. Now everyone needs to pester me about getting things done.

Here are my goals.

• Finish the porch.
o Get and install, and paint the window sill.
o Put a 2nd coat of blue up.
o Install the floor. Prep the sub-floor lay and the vinyl
o Paint and install the baseboard moulding
o Paint and install the ¼ round
o Paint and install the wainscot cap
o Paint and install the shoe Moulding
o Put the new window cranks on
o Put the new screen door hardware on

• Clean the house (god knows that’s a never ending job)
• Get Mitch to clean the basement (wish me luck on this one)
• Mow the grass both weeks cause its growing like mad
• Go food shopping

For Logan’s party
• Get the big boxes from Mark, and paint to look like train cars.
• Make some railroad signs and place in the yard
• Decorate the yard/house, oh and get decorations.
• Make his cake, oh I finally figured out how to make good cupcakes, and made the fondant for the big cake, made a sir Topham hat he turned out pretty good for my first try at that stuff.
• Make up all the salads for the party, I decided this year no grill, it ties up Mitch to much. So I’m going to get a deli platter or a pre-made big sandwich and make a bunch of salads. Simple and everything can be done ahead of time. So add Order the platter/sandwich.
• Go gift shopping for Logan. And wrap the gifts.
• Call all the people that have not bothered to RSVP
• Put the goodie bags together, I’ve already got the goods thankfully

I know I’m missing a ton of things. So just call me busy busy girl. Now I’m off to see if the first coat of blue is dry enough so I can do the second.

Moulding, as in the wood stuff around doors and windows

I work for a moulding company just in case you didn’t know. When you go to Home depot or Lowes most of the moulding they carry comes from us. Well I also get an employee discount but I have to order directly from the warehouse. My point, I priced some windowsill at Home depot a few weeks back thinking I'm here already I can get what I need right now but the stuff was close to $3 a foot. Being that I need 24 feet of it I decided to wait. I just got my price quote from work.... $.46 a foot! Holy moly I didn’t realize how great of a discount we get!! My order is being pulled right now, if all goes well I think I can have it to take home tonight. This is the last thing I need to finish the porch. So the plan is to install the rest of the moulding, paint it, put on the new window hardware and then I can lay the floor. I want all the painting done before I even think about the floor. Now if I only had some childfree time to finish it.


My other Mommy board. I've joined a local mom’s board. Over all its nice Logan and I have made some friends there is some type of playdate every week and a monthly moms night out. One thing I don’t like it I'm the old lady, officially I haven’t met anyone older them me, most everyone else is in their 20's. Not to say I have any issues with younger women its just that I'm past the "let's go out and hit the clubs" and other things that go with young adulthood. I simply pass on those invitations though it seems that they never actually make it out. My biggest beef with the group is the petty bickering, aka DRAMA. OMG its getting bad, and these are all women that have met one another not like the BBC birth club drama that happen with people that never meet. All day yesterday there was a thread going back and forth attacking each other. Funniest thing was woman A was attacking the moderator for not doing her job. But the posts that woman A wrote were so full of grammar errors, misuse of words (like there instead of their), spelling errors that were so bad I didn't know what she was trying to spell, and abbreviations that were just laziness. It made the post so hard to read she sounded like an idiot, and woman A is the one that wants to take over the moderator position. I was reading all the posts yesterday thinking Grow up, don’t you have better things to do with your time. On one hand it made me laugh, on the other is made me mad and sad that these women can't just accept their differences and suck it up for the good of their kids. I mean really what kind of an example are you setting for your children? With all that being said I want to thank all the YaYa's for just being there for each other with no in fighting.

Late night snuggles

I was working on the porch last night when I hear the call of the little man. It wasn't clear what he was saying but by the time I made it to the stairs he was screaming "Mommy I'm crying, pick me up!" I guess between the heat, his room was hot, and me banging he woke up. I scooped him up in an attempt to calm him for a quick return to bed but he would have no part of it. "Mommy I'm really thirsty, whimper whimper" And he sure was I have never seen him suck down a drink so fast. I ended up holding him for a long time, we talked, and played tickles. He kept saying I want more snuggles, who am I to fight this? He wants love from Mommy I'm happy to give it.

Fast forward to this morning. I was late getting going so I decided to be nice help Mitch out by getting Logan up and dressed. Logan announced that he didn't want to go with Daddy. Then as Mitch is caring him off to the truck hes screaming "NO I want my Mommy!" I hated that I had to leave him but Love that he wants me.

Stupid men. Mitch just called me the conversation went like this.

Mitch: Are you at work?
Angela: Yeah why?
Mitch: Can you see is Arundle hospital is part of our insurance?
sidenote: Its his works ins, I know noting
Angela: OK Why?
Mitch: I just sliced my hand open on a piece of equipment.
Angela: Just go to the closest hospital
Mitch: I'll drive and extra 10 mins if its going to save me $500
Angela: Fine Hold on I'll look, yes its in our plan.

Ok now this begs the question, if your hurt at work your covered by your employer who cares whats in our plan! I just know I'm going to have to fight with him about making his employer pay for this. Men as such idiots sometimes.

Port Discovery

Terri and Stef and Krista and Maura along with Logan and I visited Port discovery this past Friday. Port Discovery is an interactive children's Museum. It was crazy when we first arrived, tons of school field trips we played for a while till the crankiness of hunger arrived, went to the golden arches for a quick lunch of Chicken nuggets and fries. When we got back to port discover the place was empty! All the field trips had gone home. We stayed for several more hours. Until Logan actually asked to go home, he was so tired.

We found this one room "the 4 and under room" We all loved it. A secluded and contained room for the little ones, there was a child habitrail, general toys section and the kids favorite a ball pit. i think we could have stayed there all day with no complaints. The real beauty of the room was downtime for us Moms. It gave us some time to chat and rest.

The other room we loved was the Cafe, adult sized booths, table and chairs but everything else was kid sized. Another nice room for us to rest while the kids played in the kitchen.

Overall it was a good time, I can see taking Logan back there especially when he older, I'll be able to let him lose in the big habittail, climber thing.


It's after midnight the photos are still Loading, I'll add them later.

More Porch.

I got bit by the motivation bug last night. Got the ceiling painted, and the wainscot. I ended up using a freaking brush to do the wainscot. The roller I started with was shedding! At first I was thinking OH No the paint is bad but then I realized it was the roller. I think I'll put a 2nd coat on tonight. Didn't get the wall under the kitchen window painted, I started it and then realized that the seams and nail holes are in need of some sanding, boo hiss! So actually maybe I'll do that tonight and then the 2nd coat tomorrow morning. If the weather is decent I'll clean the screens out in the yard since they are so big. After I paint I could do the skim coat on the floor, then all I need to do is find some flooring I actually can live with. I keep telling myself the floor doesn't really matter, the point of the room is to have an arts and craft area for Logan. So I'm betting that the floor is going to get paint and markers etc on it, so why stress over finding the perfect thing and why spend a lot. Mom suggested I check out some flooring places for remnants, theres one just down the road I guess we can pop in there tomorrow. I'm going to try and get the rest of the moulding today.

On to the shades, first let me say thank goodness I didn't order them the other night. I had measured on of the small size windows, there are 4 across the back, and one of the large windows 2 on the left one on the right. Turns out that they are all different sizes!! I had taken the screens out to clean the windows and was moving them last night. When they are all stacked up the difference is apparent. I would have been so mad at myself if I'd ordered all those blinds in the wrong size.

I didnt get a chance to take photos last night, the lighting sucks and theres to much stuff in the way. It was late I was tired. I'll shoot some more this afternoon. But here's what I've got so far.

Porch update

I picked a color for the walls a pretty yellow. Got the remaining mess cleaned up. Washed the window OMG they were sooooo fitly. They are those old fashion louver windows, so last night with the wind blowing like crazy I cleaned them up. Talk about a difference. I also primed the ceiling. I was going to paint the ceiling and maybe walls today but I've got another darn cold and I feel like crap. Hopefully I feel well on Thursday to get the painting done. I need to order the rest of the moulding, and pick out a floor. My Mom gave me a low profile ceiling fan light combo I'm going to install. I'm also trying to decide on some blinds for out there. Jcpenny has these solar shades I think I like. You can still see threw them, air can pass threw so they "breathe". I just can't decide if I like the colors. I guess I should just find a free shipping code order some and then decide. An upside to them is I can order them to the size I need. So then that begs the next question. How do I do the blind? First it’s a roller blind, but what I'm wondering is do I put on over each window, or have them cover more then one? I know this sounds weird. But look at the photo see how there are 2 windows, only really separated by a small strip of metal. Well both of those windows are framed together. Should I have 2 blinds or just one in that frame? I was leaning more towards one big one but now that I look at the photo it reminded me of the crank handle at the bottom of the window that might be in the way.

Logan is conspiring with me...

LMTO!! As Mitch is heading to bed last night I say "call it now" in reference to which day this weekend he wants to sleep in. So he choose Sat. I stayed up for a while watched some TV and headed to bed around 1. I checked on Logan as soon as I wlked into his room his head popped up "Mommy sunggles please please please please?" How can I refuse this. While holding him i noticed that he felt hot, sure enough he's running a low fever and sniffling again. I medicated him and off to bed we went. Right before leaving I asked him to please sleep in tomorrow, even if the sun is up stay in bed till I come to get you. All the while I'm thinking yeah right. At 7 the dog got me up Logan made one peep then went back down till after 9am!! I actually woke up right before him. Mitch also woke up and decided to get up, of course he'll try and claim tomorrow morning too. But he commented to Logan "All week you've been getting up at 6:30 (total exaggeration lets try 7:15) and the one day when it do sent matter you sleep in" All I can say is "I love you little man"

The bedding I ordered came in yesterday, its really cute. His room is going to look aw some!.

I won he finally gets it :)

Last night at dinner Mitch actually said "I'm glad I'm going to work tomorrow. He went on to explain how Logan would not listen to him, wanted this wanted then didn't want this and that, etc. I looked him dead in the eyes and said "He's 2, it's normal this is how he is every day." He tried to convince me that it was worse then normal. I just said you wouldn't know what normal is, you NEVER spend a whole day with him. I expected him to take offense to this true statement but he didn't, he argued with me for a second. But I simply asked him to tell me the last time he was alone all day with Logan, he couldn't In the end he conceded. Don't get me wrong I love staying home with Logan, I just wanted Mitch to understand that it is hard work and that unlike him my day never ends. So a litte freaking help in the evenings would be nice.

Stuff for Logans room.

I'm so excited :) I decided last night I need to just bite the bullet and order the new bedding for Logans room. On a whim I decided to check ebay one more time and guess what. Yeap there is was the set I wanted with a $35 buy it now option. Now all I need to get is the pillow Sham, wallies, and any other accesories I might want. I picked up 2 little wooden airplane kits from Michales. I'll hang these from the ceiling, and I have an idea for a new light cover. I'm still debating on the curtains the ones that go with the bedding I ordered are just blue and white ginham. They look cute but they also look thin. I really want to get heavier curtains for his room, to insolate and block out light. Once I get the bedding I'll have a true sample of the colors and try to match them. Good luck on that some times its not good to have such a good eye for color I end up wanting everything to match prefectly and then it bugs me when it dosen't.




Is it Friday yet? I'm already tired of working, the house is trashed I have a do list a mile long and I'm sucked of modivation by the time I get home. This cold and gray weather isnt helping either. What happend to those wonderful sunny days in the high 70's? Spring did you go on vacation? Please come back.