Depressed

It goes with out saying that I'm depressed. I'm devastated about my puppy. I keep torturing myself. Did I do the right thing, did I give her a good life? I feel guilty that I told her bad dog when she peed on the floor on Sat. I feel guilty that she spent her last night in the pet hospital. I'm afraid that she was to drugged up to know I was with her to the end. I'm afraid that she didn't hear me telling her how much I love her, thank you for choosing me, thank you for loving me. I just want my puppy back, I just want one more day to love her and let her know how much I love her. I just want to crawl into a hole go to sleep and never come out.